It's so funny, we don't talk anymore
At the start of the year, I sent a newsletter to my business email list saying one of the things I’d like to do is meet more people and invited them to have a virtual coffee. No hidden motives. No agenda. Just the opportunity to have a chat and get to know people.
One person took me up on the offer.
Last week, we met up on Zoom. It was someone I did already know but we hadn’t spoken for 8 years.
“What were you expecting to get out of this?” They asked.
“Just a chat really.”
“Like you used to have with the person sitting next to you on a train?”
Yes. Those random conversations we used to have about whatever came to mind.
Now I am not good at talking to people unless I am intending to. I don’t strike up conversations with strangers on trains and I find networking meetings difficult. Once I’m in a conversation, I’m fine, but I find getting there awkward.
However, even I have noticed that we don’t talk that much anymore.
Is it that we see people less?
Is it that we need conversations to have an agenda so we know what we’re talking about and why?
Do we feel conversations need to be productive?
My mother-in-law is very good at ringing up for a chat. I never ring anybody unless I have to. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to people, I do, but I feel like there has to be a reason to call. A chat doesn’t feel like a good enough excuse.
And so I end up not having any idea what anyone is doing or how they are.
As the social media landscape shifts and I try to disentangle myself from Meta, the lack of phone calls presents a problem. Deleting Facebook means deleting contact. And trying to get rid of WhatsApp and persuade people to go elsewhere feels like an impossible task.
Ridiculously, we all have phones but while we use them for everything from cameras to satnavs, and can even run a business on them, what we don’t do is talk.
A mate rang me yesterday while I was at work and we chatted (while both working) for about an hour. It was the kind of conversation I used to have several times a week with different friends, but for the some reason those chats have all dropped off. Gonna try and reconnect with those people next week during work time, not all at once but with the idea of having those random chit chat conversations again :)
That sounds great!
I’d love a cuppa and a chat if you’re around in Cambs? I haven’t seen you in ages and I’m not often able to make Mojo sessions on Mondays.
I was trying to explain the issue with LinkedIn and names/verification to someone yesterday and failed dismally- if we go for a cuppa, you can pass that one by me again, slowly.
Oh the irony of me being late responding to this comment. It would be great to see you. I’ll message you. The LinkedIn issue is your name has to match your ID and I don’t have ID in that name because I got married.
We were talking about this at the weekend. We had our yearly early Feb jaunt around town for two school friends birthdays, only one person was missing – not because any of us maliciously excluded him, he came off FB and that tends to be where we set up the “events” now.
I only have a few friends I actually talk to on the phone – otherwise it’s msgs and voice notes 😅
I absolutely LOVE a real life chat – they’re the best! You can’t find behind the “I’m fine” & “great thanks” message replies
One of my concerns about coming off LinkedIn is falling out of the loop completely.
It’s funny how we don’t text anymore either. We have to use WhatsApp or similar.